


Doomed to Repeat

by Mireille



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-22
Updated: 2005-07-22
Packaged: 2019-03-10 22:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13511004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mireille/pseuds/Mireille
Summary: Those who don't learn from history....





	Doomed to Repeat

There's a saying, Wesley recalls, about those who don't learn from history. 

He smiles, a little, although he knows it'll go unnoticed; the only light in the room is a thin sliver of moonlight coming through the gap in the drapes. Besides, there's only one person here to see, and he's looking out through that gap, watching the parking lot of this seedy motel as though he's preparing to defend their room from a siege. 

Perhaps he is. He does have the warrior mentality, after all, his heritage both through birth and through upbringing. And perhaps he's right to. Perhaps Angel will come looking for them. 

Wesley's hoping he'll be smart enough not to. Connor's... unpredictable, to say the least, but his anger at Angel is relatively consistent. Even if Angel could placate him long enough to explain--Wesley's certain there is an explanation; he doesn't believe that Connor's right about Angel murdering Holtz--he doubts Connor would listen, at least not for long. He's young, and he's spent his entire life hating Angel, although Wesley wouldn't care to be the one to remind Angel of that. 

Not when he's certain Angel would be quick to remind _him_ of whose fault that was. 

Personally, Wesley prefers Connor this way--mercurial and violent and so very, very damaged--to dead, which was what he'd been expecting, but he doesn't anticipate a day when Angel will see reason about that. 

Although once Wesley's had the opportunity to get his hands on the rest of his savings, they'll be far enough away from Los Angeles that he doesn't think that Angel's opinion is going to make much of a difference to them. That's the idea, anyway--to keep Connor away from Angel, for both their sakes.

Connor hasn't talked about Angel much since they left Los Angeles; Connor hasn't talked about much of anything, to be honest. Once, when they saw buzzards circling in the sky, he'd said something about Quor'toth, but beyond that, Connor doesn't seem to feel the need for conversation. 

Wesley doesn't mind. It gives him time to think, to plan what they'll do next. Montana, he thinks, or possibly Wyoming. Somewhere with enough open space that they'll be able to avoid the neighbors, at least until Connor's a bit more acclimated to this dimension. Somewhere they'll be able to disappear, at least if the only people searching for them were amateurs. 

Somewhere it'll be far too much trouble for Angel to find them. 

Connor turns from the window, stripping off his T-shirt before sitting down on the edge of his bed to pull off boots and jeans. Wesley was surprised, at first, at Connor's relative lack of modesty, but he supposes it was difficult for Holtz to instill eighteenth-century standards of decorum in a hell dimension. And it isn't as though he has any grounds to object, not when he didn't protest the first night when Connor had crawled into Wesley's bed. 

Wesley doesn't mistake this for anything significant on Connor's part; Connor is young, and--in his own mind, at least--essentially orphaned, in a strange world. He wants comfort, and he's worked out that Wesley will give it to him. He doesn't know that it leaves Wesley unsettled. 

This is _Connor_ , he reminds himself; this is the baby he held--or more often, watched Angel holding. But this is the only comfort Connor will take--he doesn't know, doesn't understand how to ask for anything else. Wesley can blame Quor'toth, can blame Holtz, but he's not sure that growing up in the Hyperion would have been all that much better, with Angel and himself as two of his role models. 

And Wesley's given up enough for Connor's sake already that a few more fragments of his soul don't matter all that much, in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention that he needs Connor to believe that Wesley's on his side; Wesley is--more or less--but Connor can be as hardheaded as his father, particularly when it comes to being able to understand Wesley's point of view. 

So depending on how one looks at it, this isn't a bad thing. Even if on nights like this, when Connor--who always goes to sleep on his own side of the bed, tight and tense and watchful--relaxes enough to shift closer to Wesley in his sleep, Wesley can't help but think of Connor as Wesley had known him just a few short weeks ago. 

It's for the sake of that Connor that Wesley's left Los Angeles, given up any hope that his friends will come to their senses and realize that Wesley had only been doing his best all along. It's for the sake of that Connor that Wesley has abandoned his home, most of his possessions, his plans to carry on alone with the work he'd been doing with Angel Investigations. 

But _this_ Connor, strange and wild and dangerous, is the one here now, and this Connor is the one that Wesley will be spending the next several months or years with, until Connor learns more about what it's like to be human. Until he thinks he can turn his back on Connor without having to worry that he's gone looking for Angel. 

He ran away with the infant Connor, or tried to, to keep him safe from Angel--but even more importantly, to keep Angel safe from himself, from having to face the knowledge that somehow, he'd killed his son. 

He's run away with _this_ Connor to try to help him, to give him a chance to get away from the fear and the anger and everything Holtz has taught him over the past eighteen years. To give him a chance to learn how to live in this world. But just as importantly--though he's not sure it's _more_ important, not now--he's done it to keep Angel safe from him, because no matter how many people have tried to paint him as a Judas, Wesley knows better. He's loyal even after Angel has made it abundantly clear that Angel doesn't want his loyalty.

He may be repeating history, but he's learned enough from the first time that he thinks--he hopes--there's a chance that this time, his efforts won't be doomed.

**Author's Note:**

> [me on tumblr](https://mireille719.tumblr.com)


End file.
